FUNNY MESSAGES OF THE DAY

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

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Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

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Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

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I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

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Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

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I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old maid, all that. You had to play a stereotype, because very attractive women were not supposed to be funny - because it's powerful; it's a threat.

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If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one another and all that stuff, there's got to be a very powerful energy to fight that. I think we need more love in the world. We need more kindness, more compassion, more joy, more laughter. I definitely want to contribute to that.

Man 1:- I Do Not Want To Marry Becoz I Am Afraid Of ALL Women..

Man 2:- Get Married Soon, Then U Will Be Afraid Of Only ONE Woman &

Start Loving Other Women......

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Wife:What is 10 years with me?

Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?

Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.

Husband:Wait a second

 If you were cheese, I would be a mouse so I can nibble you bit by bit. If you were milk, I would be a cat so I can drink you sip by sip. But if you were a mouse, I would still be a cat so I can devour you piece by piece. I love you.

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The doctors are going to be baffled when they see my heart beating faster or slower – depending on whether I am thinking about my boyfriend or not. I love you

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